Thought Patterns

When I see them, I am elated, but they scare me. they reflect my strengths, but they cast a doubt in my mind. I feel like I am in the comfort zone, but I start worrying if I am getting complacent. I fear if it suggests mediocrity. I love patterns, but when I find them I start looking even fiercely for that elusive change. I see them in my success, failures, my friends, foes, my thoughts, dreams, sleep, my childhood, juvenile, school, work, my music, sports, food, my strengths, weaknesses, my love, crushes, friends, in everything I see, everything I think of, in everything I do, and everything that is me and that I am made of. It seems like I am in a hallucinated world or am I living in a dream. I am in that constant state of mind that I can never even fathom to explain. I want to escape from it. I try real hard to get out of it only to be found in another.

Strange things have happened to me in life or do I see strange things happening? Sometimes I have felt it's another sense that makes me see these patterns, sometimes I have tried to ignore them, but utterly failed. I don't know if this is a theory without a past or a future, but they are probably going to remain with me forever.

humne jo dekha tha, suna tha
kya bataye woh kya tha.........
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yeh kya hua, kaise hua, kab hua
kyo hua, jab hua, tab hua
chhodo, yeh naa socho.....
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