Saturday, April 23, 2005

Thought Patterns

When I see them, I am elated, but they scare me. they reflect my strengths, but they cast a doubt in my mind. I feel like I am in the comfort zone, but I start worrying if I am getting complacent. I fear if it suggests mediocrity. I love patterns, but when I find them I start looking even fiercely for that elusive change. I see them in my success, failures, my friends, foes, my thoughts, dreams, sleep, my childhood, juvenile, school, work, my music, sports, food, my strengths, weaknesses, my love, crushes, friends, in everything I see, everything I think of, in everything I do, and everything that is me and that I am made of. It seems like I am in a hallucinated world or am I living in a dream. I am in that constant state of mind that I can never even fathom to explain. I want to escape from it. I try real hard to get out of it only to be found in another.

Strange things have happened to me in life or do I see strange things happening? Sometimes I have felt it's another sense that makes me see these patterns, sometimes I have tried to ignore them, but utterly failed. I don't know if this is a theory without a past or a future, but they are probably going to remain with me forever.

humne jo dekha tha, suna tha
kya bataye woh kya tha.........
........
........

yeh kya hua, kaise hua, kab hua
kyo hua, jab hua, tab hua
chhodo, yeh naa socho.....
........
........

Sunday, April 03, 2005

F16s, Cricket blues and Writing skills

Three recent events has occupied my mind for the last couple of weeks. Bush's decision to select Paul Wolfowitz as World bank's next president, US selling F16's to Pakistan and India losing to Pakistan in Bangalore test. I will delve into the latter two here as they both have something in common.. No... not because Pakistan figures in both these topics :)

Bush's policy towards India and Pakistan has been as amusing as any of his other foreign policies. Though he has definitely not been "Anti-India", his Pro-Pakistan South Asian policies have clearly raised a lot of eye brows not only in India but here in the US as well. Selling F16s on the wake of clear indications of Pakistan's involvement in selling nuclear technology to the "axes of evil" has been a shocker..

As amusing as Bush's policies (though totally unrelated :)) has been India's poor test record in Bangalore as well as the way it recedes from a position of advantage. Whenever you think that there is no-way that the team is going to lose a match/series, comes a pathetic performance. India were the clear favorites with an easy chance of clinching the series 2-0 and the Bangalore pitch had no signs of any devils on it. India clearly boasted a better team, not just the batting line up but also a stronger bowling attack compared to the depleted pakistani bowling..

I do have specific and concrete reasons to explain either of these two events (or call it phenomena), but articulating this is altogether a different ball game. And when I read two different articles both of them on Indian Express, I was only convinced that I need to struggle really hard on my writing skills. Not that I am trying to compare myself or match with these phenomenal columnists but the gap is just abysmal !

Shekhar Gupta is arguably the finest political commentator in India. Read his latest column on Indian Express titled "The craft and the aircraft" where he talks about the US decision to sell F16s and the South Asian foreign policy in general. It is not just the rhetoric, but the flow of his thoughts and the sharp analysis of the issue that he provides which is mindblowing. The way he presents the complete picture in a short column is simply outstanding.

The other article is titled "Life seems easy when in the zone" by Harsha Bhogle also in India Express. Though he doesn't really write much about why India lost the match, he makes some wonderful abstractions about Batting, "Form and Class", and "Being in the Zone". This is an absolute treat to read. He doesn't do a lop-sided criticism of any batsman but still critiques them like no one. What can you say about an IIM grad who has never played an International match but still deserves adulation for his commentary even when he critiques the almighty of Indian Cricket !

I have realized I need to read books now or repent forever. You can't expect to be a good communicator, let alone be a good orator or a writer if you haven't read enough. I am ashamed to say that I haven't read a single novel to completion till this day though I have read a few non-fiction books. There are tonnes of books out there ... Yeah.. Toastmasters as well is on my mind and I should look it up the next week or so.

Current Music: Classical Gas (Acoustic): Eric Clapton

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