A summer's evening around 5-ish. I am waiting for her. It must have rained for a little while by then. There was this distinctive smell of the earth when it rains on a summer day, it was irresistible. Add a mild breeze to it.
There were a few tiny tots dressed cute and lovely playing around. I love kids. They also make great subjects for taking pictures, but they aren't easy as they flex one or the other muscle, before you take a shot. I try a few, I know I am not happy with the ones I could take. I manage to get hold of a Caribou's coffee, I like them better these days than Starbucks. I would have preferred a Tim Hortons' if I were in Buffalo or anywhere in Canada. Yeah, nothing beats filter coffee from SLV or UD. Back to the scene, the coffee smells great. I only needed a glimpse of her, it was already intoxicating!
I stroll a bit. She was supposed to be there by 6, time was ticking but I was a little early. Then I think, I couldn't have waited for so long. It was already a month since I saw her last. damn! It strikes me then, I was at the wrong place, I was supposed to see her a few blocks away. But it wasn't far. I could take a walk from there. I start walking. I am still thinking as well. I know I shouldn't be doing both. I am reminded of Zen's mindless meditation. I have always wondered how it actually works, if it is possible to pursue it as a way of life. I bring my mind back to what I was thinking. I start wondering what she might be wearing today. She was wearing a black skirt and a black top, the last time we met. and she looked great! I had managed to sneak in a couple of snaps without her knowledge! Ya! They have come out pretty decent, though she looked a lot better in real. But It ain't easy to shoot when you don't wan't someone to know that they are being shot. I stop walking, take a breath. I was at the right place, 5 minutes before 6.
Time ticks by. It was already 30 minutes past six. and there were no signs of her. I had a lot of things to talk to her. The one thing we had in common was the love for music. She is a violonist. and does she play it well! She hasn't been exposed to Indian music. But I do love celtic music a lot. If you listen to Knopfler, you would know that he is influenced by celtic music, he was born in Scotland. There is an infuence of Scottish and Irish folk music on Jazz as well, there is also what is known as celtic Jazz, which I haven't heard much.
It was already 7 and was getting a little dark. What if she doesn't come, I think.. She couldn't do that, I still remember the last time we met and she was playing her violin, She used to glance at me with an assured smile, that couldn't be deceptive.. hmmm..
I think maybe I should call her. I had taken her number, though I wasn't sure if it was her personal phone. I call. I could hear a man's voice on the phone, though it wasn't very clear. I ask for her, he says that the concert was cancelled for the day, and the band had moved back to Ireland.
It starts raining heavily, I run for shelter.
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Uthishta Bharatha
God Bless USA ?
God Bless India ?
I believe in and belong to a tradition, which says God bless the Existence.
Sarve Api Sukhinah santu
Sarve santu niramayah
Sarve bhadrani Pashyantu
Maa kaschid dukha bhag bhaveth
This is an ancient sanskrit verse which roughly translates to:
May every being be happy,
May every being be free from all diseases,
May every being be blissful,
May there not be a trace of sorrow for anyone.
This summarizes the concept of world citizenship which Socrates advocated.
Having said that, I also believe that we have a moral and an ethical obligation to give back to our country and society, for all that it has given us. The obligation is as imperative as the obligation that we have towards humanity in general, if not more.
It is amusing, how much She is a part of me both at conscious and sub-conscious levels. There is something "Indian" in the way I percieve every thing. My love for her is pure, without any expectations. Today is India's 59th Independence day. In introspection we have achieved a lot as a free country, but a lot desires to be done. Unfortunately there are a lot fewer people who truely take it as an obligation to do something for the nation, but most of them whine against what is lacking. My dear friends, India is a democratic country, each and every one of her lapse is a lapse in the way we live, in the way we behave and in the way we percieve and act on things. I feel it especially sad when people who live/have lived in another developed country disown themselves of the filth they see in the society condemning it. Not that it is any worse or better than people living within the country frowning and admonishing what they see, without acting upon it.
We know that there are many problems, But why do we expect it will change for the better. It will only get worse, unless someone acts on it. But who? It is better if it is me and you, for it is our filial duty.
There are three components essential to this rejuvenation.
----> Renewed Political will
----> Active Citizenry
----> Compassionate Businesses
From now on, I will try to write on how each of these components can work towards building a better society. What each one of us can do and must do, rather than living in the hope that one day there will be light from somewhere.
Listen to this beautiful album compiled and arranged by A.R.Rehman which has the Indian National Anthem sung by the finest artistes of Indian Music.
Vande Mataram (I bow to thee, Mother)
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Confessions!
Now that I know the terms of this game, I was "unofficially" tagged by a comment on Teju's blog, and it's fun!
Guilty Pleasures:
- Drinking coffee at nights knowing very well that I will have a tough time getting sleep
- Sleeping after 8.30 AM when I can't be late for work any further
Things I Can't Forget:
- My school days and some specific things about childhood
- NCJ cricket days
- Late night harates with friends at dhruvan mane katte and cool corner joint.
- Thatha being carried away
- Vajpayee's speech in the parliament in 1999 when he lost the no-confidence motion by a single vote
- The few months that I worked in Blore with a great bunch of colleagues before coming to US
- The first time I heard Jagjit live at Chowdaiah Memorial Hall, and the moment he sang "Aakash ka soonapan, Mere tanha dil mein", that moment when I felt what "tanha dil" truely was
- The time I spent with Naga's parents during his last few days
- Sunday visits to the church, walks between Buffalo and Amherst, joint cooking sessions, walks, talks and fights
- the evening when sis and bil returned back to India and it suddenly struck I was alone
Things I Wish To Forget:
- That laughter over the phone on the other side of the door
Unforgettable Dishes:
- UD Masale Dose
- Amma made Avalakki Voggarne
- Self made churmuri
- Vade and filter Coffee at SLV
- Set Dose I had once in Chitradurga
- Masale Puri on a chat bandi in Jayanagar 8th block
- Veggie Burrito Bol at Chipotle
Crushes:
- On the last day of my 7th standard, I confessed to her and so did she! but we never met after that day
- the singer(was purely for her singing)
- the one whom I dedicated a song in a high school reunion party
- the one whom I wish I had dedicated to in the same party
- a bihari batchmate at RVCE
- lovely eyes and long hair, I saw her on a snowy night
- this lebanese girl was my metro-companion for a month in DC
Close Brushes With Death/Danger:
- An unprotected left turn to the metro station when a car just missed hitting mine
- When my car skid on ice last winter.
Strangest Dream:
- Can't remember anything specific
Preferable Modes Of Suicide:
- Though I can't imagine why I would want to do it, I would prefer something painless
Favorite Characters:
- Roberto De Niro in Taxi Driver
- Aamir and his son's character in Akele Hum Akele Tum
- Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting
- Jim Carrey in The Trueman Show
- Om Puri in Ardh Satya
I tag Shubha and Guru.
Guilty Pleasures:
- Drinking coffee at nights knowing very well that I will have a tough time getting sleep
- Sleeping after 8.30 AM when I can't be late for work any further
Things I Can't Forget:
- My school days and some specific things about childhood
- NCJ cricket days
- Late night harates with friends at dhruvan mane katte and cool corner joint.
- Thatha being carried away
- Vajpayee's speech in the parliament in 1999 when he lost the no-confidence motion by a single vote
- The few months that I worked in Blore with a great bunch of colleagues before coming to US
- The first time I heard Jagjit live at Chowdaiah Memorial Hall, and the moment he sang "Aakash ka soonapan, Mere tanha dil mein", that moment when I felt what "tanha dil" truely was
- The time I spent with Naga's parents during his last few days
- Sunday visits to the church, walks between Buffalo and Amherst, joint cooking sessions, walks, talks and fights
- the evening when sis and bil returned back to India and it suddenly struck I was alone
Things I Wish To Forget:
- That laughter over the phone on the other side of the door
Unforgettable Dishes:
- UD Masale Dose
- Amma made Avalakki Voggarne
- Self made churmuri
- Vade and filter Coffee at SLV
- Set Dose I had once in Chitradurga
- Masale Puri on a chat bandi in Jayanagar 8th block
- Veggie Burrito Bol at Chipotle
Crushes:
- On the last day of my 7th standard, I confessed to her and so did she! but we never met after that day
- the singer(was purely for her singing)
- the one whom I dedicated a song in a high school reunion party
- the one whom I wish I had dedicated to in the same party
- a bihari batchmate at RVCE
- lovely eyes and long hair, I saw her on a snowy night
- this lebanese girl was my metro-companion for a month in DC
Close Brushes With Death/Danger:
- An unprotected left turn to the metro station when a car just missed hitting mine
- When my car skid on ice last winter.
Strangest Dream:
- Can't remember anything specific
Preferable Modes Of Suicide:
- Though I can't imagine why I would want to do it, I would prefer something painless
Favorite Characters:
- Roberto De Niro in Taxi Driver
- Aamir and his son's character in Akele Hum Akele Tum
- Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting
- Jim Carrey in The Trueman Show
- Om Puri in Ardh Satya
I tag Shubha and Guru.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Baitu Coffee- An immigrant's musing
I wanted to have some coffee this afternoon at work. For the last few months, I have reduced my caffeine intake to one cup per day or on some days even lesser. I wasn't feeling like having a cup on my own, so I thought I will call my pal next door to have a baitu coffee. Arghh... whoa.. it took a little less than a second to realise I wasn't home! I was found lost yet again...
For those who are wondering, Baitu coffee is basically kannada-ised word for by-two or (1/2) cup coffee. Whether it used to be evenings after playing cricket, or during long walks or bike rides, be it a moment of mutual contemplation or of pure joy, sharing a cup of coffee with a friend was blissful.
As each day passes, I only have started sympathizing first generation immigrants^^. Baitu coffee is only minuscule of what people miss being away from home. I often wonder if it is really worth being away from your dear ones and miss all the little pleasures and happy moments you once had, all of it which can only be a nostalgia. This is especially relavent when the skill-opportunity curve isn't any better here. Immigration from my country is no longer of low skilled workers aka cab drivers or coolis, which used to be decades ago when people had to migrate for better income. Now, these are educated, high-skilled "laborers" who migrate by "choice".
Ya, I know of corruption, and I also know about the increasing traffic in cities. The friends I miss may no longer live around the place. Even I do love travelling and exploring new places and culture, but it is a different issue altogether to settle elsewhere as an alien.
Though I do not advocate Parochialism or even Nationality as that can only breed violence, there is a bond between a place and a person whether you like it or not. As Javed Akhtar puts it beautifully, "Ye woh bandhan hai, jo kabhi toot nahin sakta.."
Come to think of it, the social and cultural life of an immigrant is barren. I am receptive to change, but if you are a teetotaller like me, there is a very bleak chance for new social acquaintances. Yes, there are get-togethers within your own community, but ironically, I see that it is easier to get along with a localite than to mingle with fellow brethren from same country. Town houses, cars, greencards and citizenship should be a topic of your liking if you want to spend an evening with them.
Neither does it make an economic sense to me. After all, how many Laxmi Mittals or Vinod Khoslas do we have. If at all there is a scope for progress and development as a society and a scope for both lateral and vertical career growth as an individual, My dear friends, it has to be in the East. The "wild west" of the past is only a mirage. I can only see around me hoards and hoards of people living on monthly incomes defining and redefining mediocrity, forget if generating wealth was ever an incentive. People seem to find solace under the pretention of being "achievers" while actually losing out on a lot of things.
Every immigrant has to do this introspection at some point of time. I have been seriously thinking over my existence here.
For now though, I will have to mull it over a full cup of coffee.
^^DISCLAIMER: This blog by no means represents my view on the immigrant community as a whole or it's success. Please ignore any such generalization that might come across. This is a personal post to get clarity on my thought process and this commentary looks at only a very narrow group of immigrants when the word "immigrants" is used.
Current Music:
Seene mein jalan aankhon mein tufaan saa kyon hain ?
is shehar mein har shaks pareshaan saa kyon hain ?
...
...
Dil hain to, dhadakne kaa bahaanaa koi dhoondhe
patthar ki tarah beheesa-o-bejaan saa kyon hain ?
...
...
(Lyricist: Shaharyar
Singer: Suresh Wadkar
Album: Gaman, Year: 1979)
For those who are wondering, Baitu coffee is basically kannada-ised word for by-two or (1/2) cup coffee. Whether it used to be evenings after playing cricket, or during long walks or bike rides, be it a moment of mutual contemplation or of pure joy, sharing a cup of coffee with a friend was blissful.
As each day passes, I only have started sympathizing first generation immigrants^^. Baitu coffee is only minuscule of what people miss being away from home. I often wonder if it is really worth being away from your dear ones and miss all the little pleasures and happy moments you once had, all of it which can only be a nostalgia. This is especially relavent when the skill-opportunity curve isn't any better here. Immigration from my country is no longer of low skilled workers aka cab drivers or coolis, which used to be decades ago when people had to migrate for better income. Now, these are educated, high-skilled "laborers" who migrate by "choice".
Ya, I know of corruption, and I also know about the increasing traffic in cities. The friends I miss may no longer live around the place. Even I do love travelling and exploring new places and culture, but it is a different issue altogether to settle elsewhere as an alien.
Though I do not advocate Parochialism or even Nationality as that can only breed violence, there is a bond between a place and a person whether you like it or not. As Javed Akhtar puts it beautifully, "Ye woh bandhan hai, jo kabhi toot nahin sakta.."
Come to think of it, the social and cultural life of an immigrant is barren. I am receptive to change, but if you are a teetotaller like me, there is a very bleak chance for new social acquaintances. Yes, there are get-togethers within your own community, but ironically, I see that it is easier to get along with a localite than to mingle with fellow brethren from same country. Town houses, cars, greencards and citizenship should be a topic of your liking if you want to spend an evening with them.
Neither does it make an economic sense to me. After all, how many Laxmi Mittals or Vinod Khoslas do we have. If at all there is a scope for progress and development as a society and a scope for both lateral and vertical career growth as an individual, My dear friends, it has to be in the East. The "wild west" of the past is only a mirage. I can only see around me hoards and hoards of people living on monthly incomes defining and redefining mediocrity, forget if generating wealth was ever an incentive. People seem to find solace under the pretention of being "achievers" while actually losing out on a lot of things.
Every immigrant has to do this introspection at some point of time. I have been seriously thinking over my existence here.
For now though, I will have to mull it over a full cup of coffee.
^^DISCLAIMER: This blog by no means represents my view on the immigrant community as a whole or it's success. Please ignore any such generalization that might come across. This is a personal post to get clarity on my thought process and this commentary looks at only a very narrow group of immigrants when the word "immigrants" is used.
Current Music:
Seene mein jalan aankhon mein tufaan saa kyon hain ?
is shehar mein har shaks pareshaan saa kyon hain ?
...
...
Dil hain to, dhadakne kaa bahaanaa koi dhoondhe
patthar ki tarah beheesa-o-bejaan saa kyon hain ?
...
...
(Lyricist: Shaharyar
Singer: Suresh Wadkar
Album: Gaman, Year: 1979)
Friday, April 07, 2006
Close to my Heart
Through one's journey of Life, certain people and places leave their mark on you forever. There are a few people in my life too who have left an indelible mark and a few places as well that I will remember forever. But this post is not about any of them, it is about another facet of Life, one which has left the most impressions on me, one which has been my true companion for years, it is Music.
Looking back, having spent almost ten of my last fifteen years away from family and not being a bibliophile nor an extrovert only meant that I spent most time with my first love, Music.
When I was at high school, since my home was about 20 kms away from the school in the outskirts, daily commuting using the BTS bus (aka public transport) was very tedious. So I moved into a rented place, which was much closer to school. It was a small room on the first floor in an old locality between Ramakrishna Ashram and Ganesh Bhavan in the southern part of Bangalore. It was my first "peek" into urban life, everything seemed different than I had anticipated. Friends were few and all I had was a radio player which I used to listen to a lot whenever I was bored. Vividh Bharathi was my favourite station. It had some really good programs- Gunjan, Hawa Mahal, Aap Ki Farmaish .. and they made a great companion. I never felt out of place.
Old Hindi Film Music (yes, with the adjective old) that I listened to then was the first form of good music I tasted. Since then, It always has been special to me, though I graduated listening to Indian Classical, Non Filmi Ghazals, Classic Rock and more recently to Jazz. It was not just about the melody, but also some wonderful lyrics which I could easily identify myself with and appreciate the sensitivity.
There are a few artistes, who I am especially fond of and will be posting blogs about some of them.
People have come and people have gone, with new promises and old disappointments but these tunes and verses still linger on... They are, close to my heart..
O Mere Humraahi
Meri Baah Thaame Chalna
Badle Duniya Saari
Tum Na Badalna....
....
....
(Lyricist: Shailendra
Album: Guide, Year: 1965)
Looking back, having spent almost ten of my last fifteen years away from family and not being a bibliophile nor an extrovert only meant that I spent most time with my first love, Music.
When I was at high school, since my home was about 20 kms away from the school in the outskirts, daily commuting using the BTS bus (aka public transport) was very tedious. So I moved into a rented place, which was much closer to school. It was a small room on the first floor in an old locality between Ramakrishna Ashram and Ganesh Bhavan in the southern part of Bangalore. It was my first "peek" into urban life, everything seemed different than I had anticipated. Friends were few and all I had was a radio player which I used to listen to a lot whenever I was bored. Vividh Bharathi was my favourite station. It had some really good programs- Gunjan, Hawa Mahal, Aap Ki Farmaish .. and they made a great companion. I never felt out of place.
Old Hindi Film Music (yes, with the adjective old) that I listened to then was the first form of good music I tasted. Since then, It always has been special to me, though I graduated listening to Indian Classical, Non Filmi Ghazals, Classic Rock and more recently to Jazz. It was not just about the melody, but also some wonderful lyrics which I could easily identify myself with and appreciate the sensitivity.
There are a few artistes, who I am especially fond of and will be posting blogs about some of them.
People have come and people have gone, with new promises and old disappointments but these tunes and verses still linger on... They are, close to my heart..
O Mere Humraahi
Meri Baah Thaame Chalna
Badle Duniya Saari
Tum Na Badalna....
....
....
(Lyricist: Shailendra
Album: Guide, Year: 1965)
Sunday, April 03, 2005
F16s, Cricket blues and Writing skills
Three recent events has occupied my mind for the last couple of weeks. Bush's decision to select Paul Wolfowitz as World bank's next president, US selling F16's to Pakistan and India losing to Pakistan in Bangalore test. I will delve into the latter two here as they both have something in common.. No... not because Pakistan figures in both these topics :)
Bush's policy towards India and Pakistan has been as amusing as any of his other foreign policies. Though he has definitely not been "Anti-India", his Pro-Pakistan South Asian policies have clearly raised a lot of eye brows not only in India but here in the US as well. Selling F16s on the wake of clear indications of Pakistan's involvement in selling nuclear technology to the "axes of evil" has been a shocker..
As amusing as Bush's policies (though totally unrelated :)) has been India's poor test record in Bangalore as well as the way it recedes from a position of advantage. Whenever you think that there is no-way that the team is going to lose a match/series, comes a pathetic performance. India were the clear favorites with an easy chance of clinching the series 2-0 and the Bangalore pitch had no signs of any devils on it. India clearly boasted a better team, not just the batting line up but also a stronger bowling attack compared to the depleted pakistani bowling..
I do have specific and concrete reasons to explain either of these two events (or call it phenomena), but articulating this is altogether a different ball game. And when I read two different articles both of them on Indian Express, I was only convinced that I need to struggle really hard on my writing skills. Not that I am trying to compare myself or match with these phenomenal columnists but the gap is just abysmal !
Shekhar Gupta is arguably the finest political commentator in India. Read his latest column on Indian Express titled "The craft and the aircraft" where he talks about the US decision to sell F16s and the South Asian foreign policy in general. It is not just the rhetoric, but the flow of his thoughts and the sharp analysis of the issue that he provides which is mindblowing. The way he presents the complete picture in a short column is simply outstanding.
The other article is titled "Life seems easy when in the zone" by Harsha Bhogle also in India Express. Though he doesn't really write much about why India lost the match, he makes some wonderful abstractions about Batting, "Form and Class", and "Being in the Zone". This is an absolute treat to read. He doesn't do a lop-sided criticism of any batsman but still critiques them like no one. What can you say about an IIM grad who has never played an International match but still deserves adulation for his commentary even when he critiques the almighty of Indian Cricket !
I have realized I need to read books now or repent forever. You can't expect to be a good communicator, let alone be a good orator or a writer if you haven't read enough. I am ashamed to say that I haven't read a single novel to completion till this day though I have read a few non-fiction books. There are tonnes of books out there ... Yeah.. Toastmasters as well is on my mind and I should look it up the next week or so.
Current Music: Classical Gas (Acoustic): Eric Clapton
Bush's policy towards India and Pakistan has been as amusing as any of his other foreign policies. Though he has definitely not been "Anti-India", his Pro-Pakistan South Asian policies have clearly raised a lot of eye brows not only in India but here in the US as well. Selling F16s on the wake of clear indications of Pakistan's involvement in selling nuclear technology to the "axes of evil" has been a shocker..
As amusing as Bush's policies (though totally unrelated :)) has been India's poor test record in Bangalore as well as the way it recedes from a position of advantage. Whenever you think that there is no-way that the team is going to lose a match/series, comes a pathetic performance. India were the clear favorites with an easy chance of clinching the series 2-0 and the Bangalore pitch had no signs of any devils on it. India clearly boasted a better team, not just the batting line up but also a stronger bowling attack compared to the depleted pakistani bowling..
I do have specific and concrete reasons to explain either of these two events (or call it phenomena), but articulating this is altogether a different ball game. And when I read two different articles both of them on Indian Express, I was only convinced that I need to struggle really hard on my writing skills. Not that I am trying to compare myself or match with these phenomenal columnists but the gap is just abysmal !
Shekhar Gupta is arguably the finest political commentator in India. Read his latest column on Indian Express titled "The craft and the aircraft" where he talks about the US decision to sell F16s and the South Asian foreign policy in general. It is not just the rhetoric, but the flow of his thoughts and the sharp analysis of the issue that he provides which is mindblowing. The way he presents the complete picture in a short column is simply outstanding.
The other article is titled "Life seems easy when in the zone" by Harsha Bhogle also in India Express. Though he doesn't really write much about why India lost the match, he makes some wonderful abstractions about Batting, "Form and Class", and "Being in the Zone". This is an absolute treat to read. He doesn't do a lop-sided criticism of any batsman but still critiques them like no one. What can you say about an IIM grad who has never played an International match but still deserves adulation for his commentary even when he critiques the almighty of Indian Cricket !
I have realized I need to read books now or repent forever. You can't expect to be a good communicator, let alone be a good orator or a writer if you haven't read enough. I am ashamed to say that I haven't read a single novel to completion till this day though I have read a few non-fiction books. There are tonnes of books out there ... Yeah.. Toastmasters as well is on my mind and I should look it up the next week or so.
Current Music: Classical Gas (Acoustic): Eric Clapton
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Khafa hoon Khafa hoon
It's been so much of the same. Get up at 7, rush to the metro and hope i don't miss the 8.30 one, be thr in office by 9, work till 6, get back home, check some mails, and chat with a couple of frds, go to sleep, wait for a weekend, spend the weekend without knowing what to do, call up home, a couple of frds, do some laundry, and get back to work on monday..
I was reading an interesting interview of Narayana Murthy(Chairman, Infosys) by Bob Hayward (of the Gartner research grp)... One specific question caught my mind.. Hayward asks why he(Mr. Murthy) thinks the issue of whether foreign direct investment is good for India or not still debated and why it was still not resolved? Murthy answers "Actually, there are two hilarious concepts in India. One is called MAFA— "Mistaking Articulation For Accomplishment." The second is that when we say, "All is said and done," what we really mean is, "Everything is said and nothing is done." Like it or not, we are a debating society, But just as other countries like Brazil and China have done, we must say enough is enough, and now is time for action. Otherwise, we will continue to a MAFA society."
I was completing my professional profile a couple of days back on a website and suddenly realized that I have so little to say professionally. Yeah, I did my Masters for sure, but am doing nothing different than probably what I would be doing if I had stayed back and worked like zillion others back home. Life was actually much more comforting when I was in grad school and occasionally read a paper or two from an ACM journal or was attending a research meeting. Not that I was on cloud nine then ( or am now !!! ) In either case, I have realised I am in a perennially depressed mood and need to mend my ways.
I am not sure where the phrase "MAFA" came from but it surely is the case with most individuals and groups not just when speaking about a nation or a government in macro-economic context. We seem to be complacent with what we think is perfection and further assume that we are on track to achieve it.
This reminds me on of my favorite quotes: "The best man is he who most tries to perfect himself, and the happiest man is he who most feels that he is perfecting himself." - Socrates
I am sad that I am neither perfect nor happy ! I am neither trying to perfect myself nor lost in my egoism (egotism ??) and happy that I am on my way to perfection.
Want to listen to my song of the day and get depressed ?? Listen to this one picturized on AB and sung by Kishoreda (from the movie, Bemisaal)
Kisi baat se mein kisise khafa hoon
Mein zinda hoon par zindagi se khafa hoon
Khafa hoon Khafa hoon Khafa hoon...
I was reading an interesting interview of Narayana Murthy(Chairman, Infosys) by Bob Hayward (of the Gartner research grp)... One specific question caught my mind.. Hayward asks why he(Mr. Murthy) thinks the issue of whether foreign direct investment is good for India or not still debated and why it was still not resolved? Murthy answers "Actually, there are two hilarious concepts in India. One is called MAFA— "Mistaking Articulation For Accomplishment." The second is that when we say, "All is said and done," what we really mean is, "Everything is said and nothing is done." Like it or not, we are a debating society, But just as other countries like Brazil and China have done, we must say enough is enough, and now is time for action. Otherwise, we will continue to a MAFA society."
I was completing my professional profile a couple of days back on a website and suddenly realized that I have so little to say professionally. Yeah, I did my Masters for sure, but am doing nothing different than probably what I would be doing if I had stayed back and worked like zillion others back home. Life was actually much more comforting when I was in grad school and occasionally read a paper or two from an ACM journal or was attending a research meeting. Not that I was on cloud nine then ( or am now !!! ) In either case, I have realised I am in a perennially depressed mood and need to mend my ways.
I am not sure where the phrase "MAFA" came from but it surely is the case with most individuals and groups not just when speaking about a nation or a government in macro-economic context. We seem to be complacent with what we think is perfection and further assume that we are on track to achieve it.
This reminds me on of my favorite quotes: "The best man is he who most tries to perfect himself, and the happiest man is he who most feels that he is perfecting himself." - Socrates
I am sad that I am neither perfect nor happy ! I am neither trying to perfect myself nor lost in my egoism (egotism ??) and happy that I am on my way to perfection.
Want to listen to my song of the day and get depressed ?? Listen to this one picturized on AB and sung by Kishoreda (from the movie, Bemisaal)
Kisi baat se mein kisise khafa hoon
Mein zinda hoon par zindagi se khafa hoon
Khafa hoon Khafa hoon Khafa hoon...
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Monday, November 15, 2004
Full Circle
The election fever is over and the results were no different than what I had predicted in my last blog.
Thanks to my BIL(Bro-In-Law), I have been meeting a few ppl in DC.
I have been fortunate to meet one of Bangalore's most admired IAS(civil services) officer Mr. Jairaj on previous two weekends. He was Bangalore city commisioner under SM Krishna and was phenomenally succesful in bringing out sweeping changes into the city. He is currently on an assignment in the World Bank here in DC.
Mr. Jairaj is an amazingly simple and humble person. He is a Delhi school of economics graduate and with degrees from Princeton and Harvard!! The humor he brings during his conversations is something to be experienced. As he spoke about his experiences as an IAS officer and the differences that he could bring about into the system I was often getting nostalgic. As a seventh grade student and even later during my high school, I was extremely passionate about clearing my civil service exams. I had collected nearly 60-70 interviews with IAS toppers.. I used to religiously read every issue of CSR. By 8th standard I had decided what my main subjects and optional subjects were going to be when I take up the exam!! But somehow the zest didnt last long enough for various reasons. I started getting attracted to the IITs(which I never made) when my sisters got in there and then ofcourse the IT boom took off and took most of us! Looking back now, I regret many a times that getting into traditional engineering and then IT shouldnt have been my first choice at all, It was rather a blind decision.
Today we had been to a Diwali gathering. I met two MBAs, one from Wharton and the other from Harvard. Both are IAS officers working at World Bank. One of them has worked under Naidu and the other has a Masters from IISc before getting into civil services. What I found as a paradox was, interacting with such people gives you confidence on one hand for a few reasons and on the other hand it also serves as a reality check.
A few years back I used to regularly listen to music for around 20 hrs per day. It had reached a limit. Then it had drastically reduced over the last couple of years. I am getting back to the groove. I have been having short bursts of intense listening :). As I am writing this I am listening to a classical ghazal from Mehdi Hassan, the rendering is supreme..
The place where we had been to on diwali, There was a guy around my age. I think his name was Uday. He has been brought to US from India to be of help with household work. All of us probably must have had an eye contact with him maybe once or twice during the entire evening. He would have never been to colleges, never driven around in cars ... and he will probably never be able to rise in his stature during his entire life...... and he is only one among several million others back home.
Current Music:
Kesariya Balam Padharo Maro Desh
Mehdi Hassan
Thanks to my BIL(Bro-In-Law), I have been meeting a few ppl in DC.
I have been fortunate to meet one of Bangalore's most admired IAS(civil services) officer Mr. Jairaj on previous two weekends. He was Bangalore city commisioner under SM Krishna and was phenomenally succesful in bringing out sweeping changes into the city. He is currently on an assignment in the World Bank here in DC.
Mr. Jairaj is an amazingly simple and humble person. He is a Delhi school of economics graduate and with degrees from Princeton and Harvard!! The humor he brings during his conversations is something to be experienced. As he spoke about his experiences as an IAS officer and the differences that he could bring about into the system I was often getting nostalgic. As a seventh grade student and even later during my high school, I was extremely passionate about clearing my civil service exams. I had collected nearly 60-70 interviews with IAS toppers.. I used to religiously read every issue of CSR. By 8th standard I had decided what my main subjects and optional subjects were going to be when I take up the exam!! But somehow the zest didnt last long enough for various reasons. I started getting attracted to the IITs(which I never made) when my sisters got in there and then ofcourse the IT boom took off and took most of us! Looking back now, I regret many a times that getting into traditional engineering and then IT shouldnt have been my first choice at all, It was rather a blind decision.
Today we had been to a Diwali gathering. I met two MBAs, one from Wharton and the other from Harvard. Both are IAS officers working at World Bank. One of them has worked under Naidu and the other has a Masters from IISc before getting into civil services. What I found as a paradox was, interacting with such people gives you confidence on one hand for a few reasons and on the other hand it also serves as a reality check.
A few years back I used to regularly listen to music for around 20 hrs per day. It had reached a limit. Then it had drastically reduced over the last couple of years. I am getting back to the groove. I have been having short bursts of intense listening :). As I am writing this I am listening to a classical ghazal from Mehdi Hassan, the rendering is supreme..
The place where we had been to on diwali, There was a guy around my age. I think his name was Uday. He has been brought to US from India to be of help with household work. All of us probably must have had an eye contact with him maybe once or twice during the entire evening. He would have never been to colleges, never driven around in cars ... and he will probably never be able to rise in his stature during his entire life...... and he is only one among several million others back home.
Current Music:
Kesariya Balam Padharo Maro Desh
Mehdi Hassan
Friday, August 20, 2004
Lonely as I am ...
Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
I drive on her streets
'Cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills
'Cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie
I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
It's hard to believe
That there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all that way
Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away
Current Music: Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
I drive on her streets
'Cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills
'Cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie
I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way
It's hard to believe
That there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry
I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all that way
Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away
Current Music: Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Saturday, July 17, 2004
Office in the corner of a coffee shop !
I have been spending my days at starbucks. This has a lovely ambience, some really cool jazz music, and the aura of coffee all around, though I can afford a cup of coffee once in a couple of days :)... I have completed all my course work, defended my thesis a couple of weeks back, so thr is no reason really to go to school..
A lot of students like me do their work here, and especially for a music and coffee craze like me this is heaven ! Add to this, I can use my new laptop which has wireless connectivity :) .... ooohh...is this what they call heaven ;). there is this corner in the shop, where i sit regularly.. and the guy who works here said with a smile when i came in: Ur office is waiting for you, Sir :))
Well, I cant afford this luxury for long, my graduation date is set for sep 1st and I have to find a job soon :)...
Current Music: Naguva Nayana Madhura Mouna...
A lot of students like me do their work here, and especially for a music and coffee craze like me this is heaven ! Add to this, I can use my new laptop which has wireless connectivity :) .... ooohh...is this what they call heaven ;). there is this corner in the shop, where i sit regularly.. and the guy who works here said with a smile when i came in: Ur office is waiting for you, Sir :))
Well, I cant afford this luxury for long, my graduation date is set for sep 1st and I have to find a job soon :)...
Current Music: Naguva Nayana Madhura Mouna...
Thursday, July 15, 2004
An umpteenth interest
I am an avid thinker..atleast so I proclaim :) .. Ever since I was in my high school, I used to write on things, I strongly felt about.. But most of them were in notebooks that were lost, or in drafts folder of my e-mail boxes which I had to delete as there was no gmail then :) .. I took up blogging a few months ago when I first saw sharat doing it, but then somehow gave up in the middle like any one of my umpteen interests- a true gemini that I am... Here is one more attempt, but I am vowing this time again that this is a more focused and sincere attempt ;)
"If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading or do things worth the writing" --Benjamin Franklin
If I were to choose any two professions that I would love to spend all my life without any regret, it would be being a writer or a film-maker, Both of them offer so much of freedom for expression and a powerful platform for creativity and in reaching out to people.
Today, I have been feeling very lonely :( , not that I feel otherwise a lot of other times :)) ... If I think about it I only have a handful of people I know around me to talk to or share things with.. It has been nearly two years since I came to the US for my studies.. Though I have gained a lot academically, I would have loved to have more friends by now.. Not that I am a total introvert, but there are a lot of other factors for that.. and ofcourse people are busier here than anywhere else :) .. Come to think of it, I miss my home town, bangalore a lot.. I definitely miss my family, friends and everyone there but I do miss the place as well :( .. I remember when I was there this time for my vacation, I used to go to streets and places on my bike without any real reason, just to get a glimpse of it and a feel for the place where I spent most of my life...ofcourse 23 yrs is not a short period of time....
More later .....
Current Music: Chod Aaye Hum Woh Galiyan - Maachis
"If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading or do things worth the writing" --Benjamin Franklin
If I were to choose any two professions that I would love to spend all my life without any regret, it would be being a writer or a film-maker, Both of them offer so much of freedom for expression and a powerful platform for creativity and in reaching out to people.
Today, I have been feeling very lonely :( , not that I feel otherwise a lot of other times :)) ... If I think about it I only have a handful of people I know around me to talk to or share things with.. It has been nearly two years since I came to the US for my studies.. Though I have gained a lot academically, I would have loved to have more friends by now.. Not that I am a total introvert, but there are a lot of other factors for that.. and ofcourse people are busier here than anywhere else :) .. Come to think of it, I miss my home town, bangalore a lot.. I definitely miss my family, friends and everyone there but I do miss the place as well :( .. I remember when I was there this time for my vacation, I used to go to streets and places on my bike without any real reason, just to get a glimpse of it and a feel for the place where I spent most of my life...ofcourse 23 yrs is not a short period of time....
More later .....
Current Music: Chod Aaye Hum Woh Galiyan - Maachis
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