Iruvar

I must have watched this movie thrice in the last couple of weeks. Direction, Acting, Plot, background score all at it's best. Iruvar is a fine movie. About Politics, about leadership and charisma, about friendship and betrayal, about power and struggle, and about the masses. Prakash Rai and Mohan Lal have out-performed each other in their roles as pseudo Karunanidhi and MGR. I have no clue if I would be so much impressed if I had read a book or heard about them. But Maniratnam proves beyond doubt why he is such a talented director.

The other movie I saw a couple of weeks back was Aakrosh by Govind Nihilani. Om Puri, Ambrish Puri, Naseeruddin Shah, Smita Patil (a very small role) make a great casting for this movie on a very sensitive subject, Om Puri plays an oppressed tribal; he doesnt speak for the entire duration of the movie (no, he's not dumb !!) yet his expressions in the role are extremely powerful. This is probably Nihilani's second movie after Ardh Satya that I was greatly impressed, It is a must watch if you enjoy the "art" kind of movies.

Saw Swades last week, and was really disappointed after all the media praise, raving reviews and the popularity it got. To be frank, I found it to be a very ordinary movie. There was a total lack of intensity in every department of the movie. The only thing I truely liked in the movie was a great title song by Javed Akhtar.

The last two months have been great with my mother around. Took my parents to Niagara and univ. The falls mesmerises me everytime I am there. I hope to spend a whole day or two alone at the falls sometime. The sight, noise, aura, silence, the heights makes you feel completely in unison with the nature.

Thought Patterns

When I see them, I am elated, but they scare me. they reflect my strengths, but they cast a doubt in my mind. I feel like I am in the comfort zone, but I start worrying if I am getting complacent. I fear if it suggests mediocrity. I love patterns, but when I find them I start looking even fiercely for that elusive change. I see them in my success, failures, my friends, foes, my thoughts, dreams, sleep, my childhood, juvenile, school, work, my music, sports, food, my strengths, weaknesses, my love, crushes, friends, in everything I see, everything I think of, in everything I do, and everything that is me and that I am made of. It seems like I am in a hallucinated world or am I living in a dream. I am in that constant state of mind that I can never even fathom to explain. I want to escape from it. I try real hard to get out of it only to be found in another.

Strange things have happened to me in life or do I see strange things happening? Sometimes I have felt it's another sense that makes me see these patterns, sometimes I have tried to ignore them, but utterly failed. I don't know if this is a theory without a past or a future, but they are probably going to remain with me forever.

humne jo dekha tha, suna tha
kya bataye woh kya tha.........
........
........

yeh kya hua, kaise hua, kab hua
kyo hua, jab hua, tab hua
chhodo, yeh naa socho.....
........
........

F16s, Cricket blues and Writing skills

Three recent events has occupied my mind for the last couple of weeks. Bush's decision to select Paul Wolfowitz as World bank's next president, US selling F16's to Pakistan and India losing to Pakistan in Bangalore test. I will delve into the latter two here as they both have something in common.. No... not because Pakistan figures in both these topics :)

Bush's policy towards India and Pakistan has been as amusing as any of his other foreign policies. Though he has definitely not been "Anti-India", his Pro-Pakistan South Asian policies have clearly raised a lot of eye brows not only in India but here in the US as well. Selling F16s on the wake of clear indications of Pakistan's involvement in selling nuclear technology to the "axes of evil" has been a shocker..

As amusing as Bush's policies (though totally unrelated :)) has been India's poor test record in Bangalore as well as the way it recedes from a position of advantage. Whenever you think that there is no-way that the team is going to lose a match/series, comes a pathetic performance. India were the clear favorites with an easy chance of clinching the series 2-0 and the Bangalore pitch had no signs of any devils on it. India clearly boasted a better team, not just the batting line up but also a stronger bowling attack compared to the depleted pakistani bowling..

I do have specific and concrete reasons to explain either of these two events (or call it phenomena), but articulating this is altogether a different ball game. And when I read two different articles both of them on Indian Express, I was only convinced that I need to struggle really hard on my writing skills. Not that I am trying to compare myself or match with these phenomenal columnists but the gap is just abysmal !

Shekhar Gupta is arguably the finest political commentator in India. Read his latest column on Indian Express titled "The craft and the aircraft" where he talks about the US decision to sell F16s and the South Asian foreign policy in general. It is not just the rhetoric, but the flow of his thoughts and the sharp analysis of the issue that he provides which is mindblowing. The way he presents the complete picture in a short column is simply outstanding.

The other article is titled "Life seems easy when in the zone" by Harsha Bhogle also in India Express. Though he doesn't really write much about why India lost the match, he makes some wonderful abstractions about Batting, "Form and Class", and "Being in the Zone". This is an absolute treat to read. He doesn't do a lop-sided criticism of any batsman but still critiques them like no one. What can you say about an IIM grad who has never played an International match but still deserves adulation for his commentary even when he critiques the almighty of Indian Cricket !

I have realized I need to read books now or repent forever. You can't expect to be a good communicator, let alone be a good orator or a writer if you haven't read enough. I am ashamed to say that I haven't read a single novel to completion till this day though I have read a few non-fiction books. There are tonnes of books out there ... Yeah.. Toastmasters as well is on my mind and I should look it up the next week or so.

Current Music: Classical Gas (Acoustic): Eric Clapton

Khafa hoon Khafa hoon

It's been so much of the same. Get up at 7, rush to the metro and hope i don't miss the 8.30 one, be thr in office by 9, work till 6, get back home, check some mails, and chat with a couple of frds, go to sleep, wait for a weekend, spend the weekend without knowing what to do, call up home, a couple of frds, do some laundry, and get back to work on monday..

I was reading an interesting interview of Narayana Murthy(Chairman, Infosys) by Bob Hayward (of the Gartner research grp)... One specific question caught my mind.. Hayward asks why he(Mr. Murthy) thinks the issue of whether foreign direct investment is good for India or not still debated and why it was still not resolved? Murthy answers "Actually, there are two hilarious concepts in India. One is called MAFA— "Mistaking Articulation For Accomplishment." The second is that when we say, "All is said and done," what we really mean is, "Everything is said and nothing is done." Like it or not, we are a debating society, But just as other countries like Brazil and China have done, we must say enough is enough, and now is time for action. Otherwise, we will continue to a MAFA society."

I was completing my professional profile a couple of days back on a website and suddenly realized that I have so little to say professionally. Yeah, I did my Masters for sure, but am doing nothing different than probably what I would be doing if I had stayed back and worked like zillion others back home. Life was actually much more comforting when I was in grad school and occasionally read a paper or two from an ACM journal or was attending a research meeting. Not that I was on cloud nine then ( or am now !!! ) In either case, I have realised I am in a perennially depressed mood and need to mend my ways.

I am not sure where the phrase "MAFA" came from but it surely is the case with most individuals and groups not just when speaking about a nation or a government in macro-economic context. We seem to be complacent with what we think is perfection and further assume that we are on track to achieve it.

This reminds me on of my favorite quotes: "The best man is he who most tries to perfect himself, and the happiest man is he who most feels that he is perfecting himself." - Socrates

I am sad that I am neither perfect nor happy ! I am neither trying to perfect myself nor lost in my egoism (egotism ??) and happy that I am on my way to perfection.

Want to listen to my song of the day and get depressed ?? Listen to this one picturized on AB and sung by Kishoreda (from the movie, Bemisaal)

Kisi baat se mein kisise khafa hoon
Mein zinda hoon par zindagi se khafa hoon
Khafa hoon Khafa hoon Khafa hoon...

In solitude, where we are least alone.

Lord Byron

Rishtey

Had so many things to write over the past few weeks but the eternal procrastinator chose not to and finally i write one in my blues which has become so banal.

frankly this is not the usual "blues" i find myself in, but a rather "outsider" view of my experiences. tat sounds funny .. doesn't it :) .. let's not bother about it..

I have been wondering a lot as to why relations between any two people change.. why is it so volatile ? Before I go ahead let me also tell you that there is nothing "bollywood-ish" to be read in between my lines :)..

Throughout our lives, we get close to so many people: Be it a cousin, a close friend, an office colleague or a classmate... You seem to have found someone with whom u can fearlessly express urself, understand the other person, with whom u feel uninhibited about anything.. u don't have to act but can be urself... But somewhere down the line, the warmth, the closeness doesn't remain for long but rather fades away.. It seems to be a factor of geographic distance , the "communication frequency", differing interests, and so many more such dependent variables that start creeping into the equation...

I started thinking about all these when I was listening to one of my favorite songs penned by Kaifi Azmi.. Check out these last two lines of the song in Jagjit's voice after the writer makes a series of questions about "Rishtey" and then beautifully stops with this question that can set anyone wondering abt it !

kehte hain pyaar kA rishtaa
hai janam kA rishtaa
hai janam kA jo ye rishtaa to badaltaa kyon hain ?

You have to actually listen to the whole song to get its flavor (from the movie, Arth)

On a different note, I saw Shwaas last week. Its an absolutely terrific movie ! It definitely deserved not only an Oscar nomination but also an award (which it didn't). All the performances are very natural; Ashwin chitale who plays the (to be)blind child is simply superb ! The movie is based on a true incident. let me not divulge the story before you watch it!

Current Music: Aksar kyun yun lage ke tum koi aur ho (Shaan)

Blogging from Office !

I can see snow falling down through the windows. I am at my new office, we moved here a few days back. It is very picturesque around here. I had a 3 month performance review today and was happy to see that I was meeting or exceeding expectations on most issues.

The last week or so has been rather dull. No specific reason but I didn't seem to be motivated for a lot of things. Probably I am thinking a little too hard on my career goals/options as I have always feared complacency. I should remeber though, as one of my earlier blogs said such analysis can only hamper growth and being action oriented and having short term goals is more fruitful.

I am getting involved in a couple of clubs around here and thankfully, that is opening up new acquaintances.

I had ordered a few books on amazon nearly a month back and I still haven't received them.. They have a very poor shipping policy if you opt for their "super-saver" shipping.

Homecoming ? :)

Today was a grtt day ! Had lots of snow around and it felt like I was back to buffalo times :). Went out in the afternoon to downtown and walked around in the snow with a star bucks coffee and my ipod playing favorite knopfler songs..... Wow! Felt like bliss!

My laptop is back and running :).. Have lots of organizing to do with my mails, address books, software updates etc..etc.

When I am listening to songs, I really wonder how beautifully they r written: concise yet so powerful, not at all verbose but packed with so much of meaning and depth. When I am introspecting on different issues I have so many things to say, so many opinions, so many views, yet.. when I sit down to write a blog I find myself short of words. Either I will be uninspired to write or I dont find the right words to express my thoughts. I should get over this sooner or later.. life is short and thr r a lot more things still left unsaid and undone.

Had a chance to chat with one of my old friends after nearly a couple of years. Was a great feeling because she has always been a great friend ! She is married now and in US and hopefully can keep in touch with her more often.

Current Music: Tu mere paas bhi hain (Lata and Hariharan in Satya)

Millionaire Tips !!

I am no fan of ET, but found this one readable today. This article lists 10 ways of how millionaires think,

Optimist -
• They are born optimists. They even look at the adversities with a positive side.

Learn from mistakes -
• They're uncritical of their mistakes. Nothing disturbs them. They become wiser with each mistake.

Action-oriented -
• They take action. They don't get locked in analysis-paralysis.
• Make hay while the sun shines -
• They listen for opportunity not for what's wrong or why something didn't work.

Master plan -
• They have written down their financial & personal goals. They know where they are going and what they want.

Create wealth -
• They have no guilt about being filthy rich. They feel they deserve the money they make.

Savvy investors -
• They know that more risk generates more income. They usually save 15-20% of their yearly income.

Enjoy life -
• They do what they love & make money at it. They know their goal in life. And work towards it daily.

Have good friends -
• They surround themselves with people who believe in them and support their goals. You'll never find them with a pessimist.

If atall I want to become one (I am not a capitalist, u see ;)), I know now that I got to do these things for sure :)

1. Be positive. I have definitely improved a lot from what I was, but there is a lot of room for improvement.
2. Be action oriented than brooding over the past. Stop my analyzing over lost things, why things went wrong, what I could have done better etc and be more focused on what I need to achieve and how I can get there.

On a happier front, one of my "bestest" buddies has got an admit from Yale for MBA! He is still thinking if he can afford it. 150k is not a joke! I truly wish he makes it though!

Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It goes by, like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay

...........
............

Sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away

Current Music:
Dream On: Aerosmith

Full Circle

The election fever is over and the results were no different than what I had predicted in my last blog.

Thanks to my BIL(Bro-In-Law), I have been meeting a few ppl in DC.

I have been fortunate to meet one of Bangalore's most admired IAS(civil services) officer Mr. Jairaj on previous two weekends. He was Bangalore city commisioner under SM Krishna and was phenomenally succesful in bringing out sweeping changes into the city. He is currently on an assignment in the World Bank here in DC.

Mr. Jairaj is an amazingly simple and humble person. He is a Delhi school of economics graduate and with degrees from Princeton and Harvard!! The humor he brings during his conversations is something to be experienced. As he spoke about his experiences as an IAS officer and the differences that he could bring about into the system I was often getting nostalgic. As a seventh grade student and even later during my high school, I was extremely passionate about clearing my civil service exams. I had collected nearly 60-70 interviews with IAS toppers.. I used to religiously read every issue of CSR. By 8th standard I had decided what my main subjects and optional subjects were going to be when I take up the exam!! But somehow the zest didnt last long enough for various reasons. I started getting attracted to the IITs(which I never made) when my sisters got in there and then ofcourse the IT boom took off and took most of us! Looking back now, I regret many a times that getting into traditional engineering and then IT shouldnt have been my first choice at all, It was rather a blind decision.

Today we had been to a Diwali gathering. I met two MBAs, one from Wharton and the other from Harvard. Both are IAS officers working at World Bank. One of them has worked under Naidu and the other has a Masters from IISc before getting into civil services. What I found as a paradox was, interacting with such people gives you confidence on one hand for a few reasons and on the other hand it also serves as a reality check.

A few years back I used to regularly listen to music for around 20 hrs per day. It had reached a limit. Then it had drastically reduced over the last couple of years. I am getting back to the groove. I have been having short bursts of intense listening :). As I am writing this I am listening to a classical ghazal from Mehdi Hassan, the rendering is supreme..

The place where we had been to on diwali, There was a guy around my age. I think his name was Uday. He has been brought to US from India to be of help with household work. All of us probably must have had an eye contact with him maybe once or twice during the entire evening. He would have never been to colleges, never driven around in cars ... and he will probably never be able to rise in his stature during his entire life...... and he is only one among several million others back home.

Current Music:
Kesariya Balam Padharo Maro Desh
Mehdi Hassan