Picture Perfect

A summer's evening around 5-ish. I am waiting for her. It must have rained for a little while by then. There was this distinctive smell of the earth when it rains on a summer day, it was irresistible. Add a mild breeze to it.

There were a few tiny tots dressed cute and lovely playing around. I love kids. They also make great subjects for taking pictures, but they aren't easy as they flex one or the other muscle, before you take a shot. I try a few, I know I am not happy with the ones I could take. I manage to get hold of a Caribou's coffee, I like them better these days than Starbucks. I would have preferred a Tim Hortons' if I were in Buffalo or anywhere in Canada. Yeah, nothing beats filter coffee from SLV or UD. Back to the scene, the coffee smells great. I only needed a glimpse of her, it was already intoxicating!

I stroll a bit. She was supposed to be there by 6, time was ticking but I was a little early. Then I think, I couldn't have waited for so long. It was already a month since I saw her last. damn! It strikes me then, I was at the wrong place, I was supposed to see her a few blocks away. But it wasn't far. I could take a walk from there. I start walking. I am still thinking as well. I know I shouldn't be doing both. I am reminded of Zen's mindless meditation. I have always wondered how it actually works, if it is possible to pursue it as a way of life. I bring my mind back to what I was thinking. I start wondering what she might be wearing today. She was wearing a black skirt and a black top, the last time we met. and she looked great! I had managed to sneak in a couple of snaps without her knowledge! Ya! They have come out pretty decent, though she looked a lot better in real. But It ain't easy to shoot when you don't wan't someone to know that they are being shot. I stop walking, take a breath. I was at the right place, 5 minutes before 6.

Time ticks by. It was already 30 minutes past six. and there were no signs of her. I had a lot of things to talk to her. The one thing we had in common was the love for music. She is a violonist. and does she play it well! She hasn't been exposed to Indian music. But I do love celtic music a lot. If you listen to Knopfler, you would know that he is influenced by celtic music, he was born in Scotland. There is an infuence of Scottish and Irish folk music on Jazz as well, there is also what is known as celtic Jazz, which I haven't heard much.

It was already 7 and was getting a little dark. What if she doesn't come, I think.. She couldn't do that, I still remember the last time we met and she was playing her violin, She used to glance at me with an assured smile, that couldn't be deceptive.. hmmm..

I think maybe I should call her. I had taken her number, though I wasn't sure if it was her personal phone. I call. I could hear a man's voice on the phone, though it wasn't very clear. I ask for her, he says that the concert was cancelled for the day, and the band had moved back to Ireland.

It starts raining heavily, I run for shelter.

Dard se mera daaman bhar de...

dard se mera daaman bharde, ya allah
phir chahe deewana karde, ya allah

(Fill my lap with pain, and make me insane if you desire)

maine tujh se chand sitare kab mange,
roushan dil, bedaar nazar de, ya allah

(I never asked you for moon or stars, But give me a heart that is enlightened and eyes that are lit)

suraj si ek cheez to hum sab dekh chuke,
sachmuch ki ab koi saher de, ya allah

(We have all seen the sun, But show us now a dawn that is for real)

ya dharti ke zakhmon per marham rakhde,
ya mera dil patthar kar de, ya allah

(Take away the pains of this earth, Or make my heart into a stone)

It has been around ten years that I heard this song for the first time and it has haunted me ever since. "Dard se mera daaman bhar de" is a beautiful, soulful number sung by the one-and-only Lata Mangeshkar. The pathos and the helplessness that comes out of the song is a heart-wrenching experience and it is a tribute to both the singer and the lyricist.

Listen to the song here.

Singer: Lata Mangeshkar
Album: Sajda
Lyricist: Qateel Shafai
Music: Jagjit Singh

my hard disk is dying and i am trying to recover whatever data i can. If you are depending on your hard disk alone, go back it up before u reach this stage! the thought of losing all data is scary!

One of my all-time favorite Hollywood actors, Robin Williams is in a rehab for alchohol abuse after being sober for about 20 years.

O Captain, My Captain! I wish you a speedy recovery.

Uthishta Bharatha

God Bless USA ?
God Bless India ?

I believe in and belong to a tradition, which says God bless the Existence.

Sarve Api Sukhinah santu
Sarve santu niramayah
Sarve bhadrani Pashyantu
Maa kaschid dukha bhag bhaveth

This is an ancient sanskrit verse which roughly translates to:

May every being be happy,
May every being be free from all diseases,
May every being be blissful,
May there not be a trace of sorrow for anyone.

This summarizes the concept of world citizenship which Socrates advocated.

Having said that, I also believe that we have a moral and an ethical obligation to give back to our country and society, for all that it has given us. The obligation is as imperative as the obligation that we have towards humanity in general, if not more.

It is amusing, how much She is a part of me both at conscious and sub-conscious levels. There is something "Indian" in the way I percieve every thing. My love for her is pure, without any expectations. Today is India's 59th Independence day. In introspection we have achieved a lot as a free country, but a lot desires to be done. Unfortunately there are a lot fewer people who truely take it as an obligation to do something for the nation, but most of them whine against what is lacking. My dear friends, India is a democratic country, each and every one of her lapse is a lapse in the way we live, in the way we behave and in the way we percieve and act on things. I feel it especially sad when people who live/have lived in another developed country disown themselves of the filth they see in the society condemning it. Not that it is any worse or better than people living within the country frowning and admonishing what they see, without acting upon it.

We know that there are many problems, But why do we expect it will change for the better. It will only get worse, unless someone acts on it. But who? It is better if it is me and you, for it is our filial duty.

There are three components essential to this rejuvenation.

----> Renewed Political will
----> Active Citizenry
----> Compassionate Businesses

From now on, I will try to write on how each of these components can work towards building a better society. What each one of us can do and must do, rather than living in the hope that one day there will be light from somewhere.

Listen to this beautiful album compiled and arranged by A.R.Rehman which has the Indian National Anthem sung by the finest artistes of Indian Music.

Vande Mataram (I bow to thee, Mother)

Fursat ke raat din

misra ghalib ka hai (misra: couplet)
aur khaifiyat har ek ki apni apni (khaifiyat: mood)
dil dhoondtha hai
phir wohi fursat ke raat din (fursat: respite)




The Original Version:
jii dhoondthaa hai phir vahii fursat, ki raat din
baithe rahen tasavvur-e-jaanaa.n kiye hue (tasavvur: imagination)
- Mirza Ghalib

The Contemporary Version:
dil dhoondthaa hai phir vahii, furasat ke raat din
baithe rahe tasavvur-e-jaanaa.n kiye hue
....
....
- Gulzar


Listen to the song here.
Singer: Bhupinder
Music: Madan Mohan

"Man's greatest asset is the unsettled mind."

- Isaac Asimov

tumula... continues

I am having a tough time getting sleep. Probably its the caffeine effect or it is because of some unanswered questions. But they were answered! Were they? No. But why?

Grady Booch once said that the problem with raising the level of abstraction very high is that it becomes difficult to debug problems at lower levels, this applies to not just a computer program but to life as well. We are talking here only of mortals. Philosophy, like any theoretical science can only talk in abstract terms. Yes, Jiddu is a different kind of philosopher, a very different kind indeed. Infact he was questioning this very act of theorizing and abstraction. But how different is sensitivity from any other approach? Is it another kind of abstraction? I don't know. I probably haven't understood it completely. Can a mediocre understand any of these philosophies and truely apply them in a day to day life.

It appears like there can be only two outcomes to this scenario. Either, give up the fight or continue the struggle giving in during the process. For now though, I can see a third option, try to catch some sleep.

tumula: Of Ambitions and Mediocrity

Why am I mediocre? I often question myself; it either makes me hate myself when I feel that I am the reason for it or pity myself when I feel that maybe I am not the reason. Irrespective of these feelings, the thought persists. It continues to hurt. Why do I feel so? For one, it is because that I pursue petty things. For another, it is because I feel insignificant. The insignificance of the pursuit and the self itself is the cause.

Unfortunately Mediocrity and Ambition often go together and that is when it hurts. If you had no ambitions, life would be easier. But would I prescribe complacency to someone? definitely not, that’s another issue. Someone said there is perhaps more uniformity in excellence than in mediocrity. It appears puzzling rather counter-intuitive, but a little deeper thought reveals what it means. However it only raises further questions. Coming back to the question why I am mediocre, I don’t know, the simplest answer would be that it is probably because I am not a genius. Is it just that? The mind wanders, and hopes it is not.

What about individualism then? Doesn’t it suggest that mediocrity is self-imposed? Ayn Rand says "Mediocrity doesn't mean average intelligence; it means an average intelligence that resents and envies its betters." I don’t necessarily agree with this. To me mediocrity is about me, it is not a relative term.

This quote has kept me interested for a long time,

"But even when we are sharpened and quickened intellectually by argument, by discussion, by reading, this does not actually bring about that quality of sensitivity. And you know all those people who are erudite, who read, who theorize, who can discuss brilliantly, are extraordinarily dull people. So I think sensitivity, which destroys mediocrity, is very important to understand. Because most of us are becoming, I am afraid, more mediocre. We are not using that word in any derogative sense at all, but merely observing the fact of mediocrity in the sense of being average, fairly well educated, earning a livelihood and perhaps capable of clever discussion; but this leaves us still bourgeois, mediocre, not only in our attitudes but in our activities."

- Jiddu Krishnamurthy
The Awakening of Intelligence

I tried interpreting it in several ways, but it still did not answer my questions on mediocrity. Though I understood the importance of sensitivity, I wasn’t sure of it’s relevance to mediocrity, Yes, I certainly realize that sensitivity negates mediocrity in our attitudes, but actions? Well, I will also have to agree that attitudes reflect on our actions but does it help me overcome the insignificance of my actions or my self itself that I questioned initially. Hmmmmm... It probably does!

Mohammed Rafi- The Virtuoso

There are probably only two other male playback singers equally popular to him in the history of Indian Cinema, However he beats everyone in the number of songs that he has sung(around 26,000) and more importantly because he is probably the only singer who has excelled in almost every genre of singing in Hindi film music. Ladies and Gentlemen, this blog is about the virtuoso, a true fankaar, the one and only Mohammed Rafi.

Rafi's romantic duets are probably among the best one can get to listen. Though the highest number of them are with Lata, I am especially fond of the ones with Geeta Dutt and Asha Bhosle. My all-time favorite is the one with Geeta Dutt "hum aapki aankhon mein" from the 1957 classic, Pyaasa. Other personal favorites of this pair are "jaane kahaan mera jigar gaya ji", "aankhon hi aankhon mein" and the lesser popular "yeh hai bombay meri jaan". Rafi and Asha made a great combo too. Who can ever forget “Achha ji mein haari chalo maan jao na” - A sensuous Asha and a teasing Rafi, both at their best. Another song, where Rafi and Asha outperform each other is the song, "Deewana Mastana Hua Dil".

A pious Muslim, Rafi delivered probably the most authentic bhajans of Indian Cinema. My favorite being "man tadpat hari darshan ko aaj", It is a beautiful bhajan which could turn an agnostic into a devotee. Set on Malkauns Raaga by Naushad, written by Shakeel Badayuni and sung by Rafi, it is symbolic of India’s secularism. Nothing pseudo about it.

Rafi had a classical training under masters like Abdul Wahid Khan and Ghulam Ali Khan. Rafi was a perfectonist and it is almost impossible to find any naunces in his singing. He could effortlessly sing classical based songs. Listen to "madhuban mein raadhika naache" or the high pitched "o duniya ke rakhwale", he could easily switch between third and first octaves, yet maintain his mellifluous voice.

Rafi was undoubtedly the all time best Qawwali singer, Indian Cinema has seen. Each one of his qawwali is superb. Be it "pardah hai pardah", "hum kisise kam nahin" or "chandi ka badan". My all-time favorite though is from 1960 movie, Barsaat ki Raat: "na to caravan ki talaash hai", the song starts off beautifully by Manna dey and Asha bhosle and is brilliantly taken over by Rafi.

Rafi excelled in rendering patriotic songs: "kar chale hum fida" from haqeeqat, "sarfaroshi ki tamanna" from shaheed are some of the memorable ones. Rafi sang the youthful peppy songs as well with equal ease. Most of them were pictured on Shammi Kapoor. Movies like Junglee, Kashmir ki Kali, Dil Dekhe Dekho, Brahmachari, An evening in Paris, Teesri Manzil had some great songs by Rafi and were a rage in the 60s. Though there were too many good songs of this type, I would like to point to two songs which I particularly like, one is "jawaniyan yeh mast mast" and the other is "ayyaiyya karoon mein kya sukoo sukoo".

Rafi has sung many beautiful ghazals. Two such ghazals have been sung solo both by Lata and Rafi. Personally, I like the Rafi version. These are "teri aankhon ke siva" and "ehsaan tera hoga mujhpar".

The versatility of Rafi makes it impossible to brand him as a specific type of singer: there can be nothing which is rafiana andaaz. But specifically, a few of his romantic numbers are my personal favorites. The best of them all is "chaudvin ka chaand ho, ya fitaab ho, jo bhi ho tum khuda ki kasam lajawaab ho" :aahh.. this one is a gem of a song, Rafi at his romantic best. Another one is "zindagi bhar nahin bhoolegi woh barsaat ki raat". Rafi's personal favorite that he himself acknowledged in one of his interviews is "suhaani raat dhal chuki, na jaane tum kab aaoge". A few other romantic songs that comes to my mind: "din dhal jaaye" , "tere mere sapne", "abhi na jao chodkar", "hum bekhudi mein tumko pukaare".

I know this was a futile attempt at paying a tribute to Rafi in a single post, and I also know that I have skipped many of his great songs. It has been 26 years since he left us all, but here I am sitting in another corner of the world and typing this as his songs continues to play on.

Tum mujhe yun bhula na paoge
haan tum mujhe yuh bhula na paoge
Jab kabhi bhi sunoge geet mere
Sang sang tum bhi gun-gunaoge

Lyrics: Hasrat Jaipuri
Singer: Mohammed Rafi