Full Circle

The election fever is over and the results were no different than what I had predicted in my last blog.

Thanks to my BIL(Bro-In-Law), I have been meeting a few ppl in DC.

I have been fortunate to meet one of Bangalore's most admired IAS(civil services) officer Mr. Jairaj on previous two weekends. He was Bangalore city commisioner under SM Krishna and was phenomenally succesful in bringing out sweeping changes into the city. He is currently on an assignment in the World Bank here in DC.

Mr. Jairaj is an amazingly simple and humble person. He is a Delhi school of economics graduate and with degrees from Princeton and Harvard!! The humor he brings during his conversations is something to be experienced. As he spoke about his experiences as an IAS officer and the differences that he could bring about into the system I was often getting nostalgic. As a seventh grade student and even later during my high school, I was extremely passionate about clearing my civil service exams. I had collected nearly 60-70 interviews with IAS toppers.. I used to religiously read every issue of CSR. By 8th standard I had decided what my main subjects and optional subjects were going to be when I take up the exam!! But somehow the zest didnt last long enough for various reasons. I started getting attracted to the IITs(which I never made) when my sisters got in there and then ofcourse the IT boom took off and took most of us! Looking back now, I regret many a times that getting into traditional engineering and then IT shouldnt have been my first choice at all, It was rather a blind decision.

Today we had been to a Diwali gathering. I met two MBAs, one from Wharton and the other from Harvard. Both are IAS officers working at World Bank. One of them has worked under Naidu and the other has a Masters from IISc before getting into civil services. What I found as a paradox was, interacting with such people gives you confidence on one hand for a few reasons and on the other hand it also serves as a reality check.

A few years back I used to regularly listen to music for around 20 hrs per day. It had reached a limit. Then it had drastically reduced over the last couple of years. I am getting back to the groove. I have been having short bursts of intense listening :). As I am writing this I am listening to a classical ghazal from Mehdi Hassan, the rendering is supreme..

The place where we had been to on diwali, There was a guy around my age. I think his name was Uday. He has been brought to US from India to be of help with household work. All of us probably must have had an eye contact with him maybe once or twice during the entire evening. He would have never been to colleges, never driven around in cars ... and he will probably never be able to rise in his stature during his entire life...... and he is only one among several million others back home.

Current Music:
Kesariya Balam Padharo Maro Desh
Mehdi Hassan

Historic Moments

Hermann Goering: Naturally the common people don't want war; neither in Russia, nor in England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country. quote verified at snopes.com

Herman Goering was no philosophist, He was a close aide of Hitler but in the above quote makes a very important observation. This was recorded during an interview in a US prison cell after World war II. A tyrant himself probably being completely dejected made the philosopher inside him speak. This has particularly a lot of relevance at this crucial juncture which I believe could go down as one of the most important moments to define the way this nation is headed to.

After a brief hiatus, I am back :). Being in DC for the last two months I have been watching the election campaigns very closely, I can surely say that I have been "at the right place at the right time" :). I have been watching all the presidential debates, vice presidential debate, the republican national convention (the democratic convention was over by the time I was here), the Bill O Reilly, Al Franken shows very religiously. Surprisingly the media here in the US seems to have very biased opinions unlike in India. I almost started hating programs on Fox: Almost every show host was campaigning for the republican party.

Being from the world's largest democracy myself and having enjoyed freedom and liberty that it brings, one unfortunate thing about it is the inability of the majority to assess the things right and even more the inability of contestants to reach across all sections of the society. Well, I should say the Republicans have done their homework pretty good, but it is going to be the Kerry's , the Vajpayee's (I am not trying to compare the two here) to figure out where they went wrong and if they did at all. Anyways let me not predict the results when the american media is expecting it to be resolved in courts !!

Keeping aside the global affairs ;), the last two months have helped me analyze my strengths and weaknesses to some extent and in reflecting the past. After a fairly persistent search for my job, I landed with two job offers. Both are reasonably small companies here in the DC region. I did start with one before I got the second and decided to switch over for a couple of reasons. I would be starting from Monday..

Current Music: Imagine by John Lennon

Lonely as I am ...

Sometimes I feel
Like my only friend
Is the city I live in
The city of angels
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I drive on her streets
'Cause she's my companion
I walk through her hills
'Cause she knows who I am
She sees my good deeds
And she kisses me windy
I never worry
Now that is a lie

I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all the way

It's hard to believe
That there's nobody out there
It's hard to believe
That I'm all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

I don't ever want to feel
Like I did that day
Take me to the place I love
Take me all that way

Under the bridge downtown
Is where I drew some blood
Under the bridge downtown
I could not get enough
Under the bridge downtown
Forgot about my love
Under the bridge downtown
I gave my life away

Current Music: Red Hot Chilli Peppers

Ardh Satya...

Ek palde mein napunsakta, doosre palde mein paurush, aur theek tarazu ke kaante par, ardh satya …

This is a line from one of my favorite movies, Ardh Satya(Half-Truth). Om Puri plays a sub-inspector in Mumbai, who carries several emotional scars from the past and fights alone against the scum of the society.. it is a truely provocative and challenging movie.. If there was an equivalent in hollywood though with a much different storyline, it would be my other favorite, Taxi Driver. This one is a chilling character study of a man struggling to come to terms with the environment he lives in, brilliantly portrayed by Robert De Niro.

"I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant."-- Martin Luther King

Gandhi's My experiments with truth: One facet of the book that has inspired me always is the great man's courage to speak the truth. He is least worried whether his "mahatma" image in a country of billion and many more followers across the world would get tarnished if he spoke the truth. When he speaks about his inability to resist his carnal lust even at the critical hour of his father's death or his temptations in his struggle to follow true brahmacharya there is no "ardh-satya".

As I see and grow in life, what stuns me in my experiences is how people try to distance from truth shying away from reality. Neither am I a mahatma, nor a cop fighting politicians or a person exposed to brothels, but these characters seem to have etched an indelible mark on my mind.

Current Music: Sachchi baat kahi thi maine: Jagjith Singh in Face to Face

Office in the corner of a coffee shop !

I have been spending my days at starbucks. This has a lovely ambience, some really cool jazz music, and the aura of coffee all around, though I can afford a cup of coffee once in a couple of days :)... I have completed all my course work, defended my thesis a couple of weeks back, so thr is no reason really to go to school..

A lot of students like me do their work here, and especially for a music and coffee craze like me this is heaven ! Add to this, I can use my new laptop which has wireless connectivity :) .... ooohh...is this what they call heaven ;). there is this corner in the shop, where i sit regularly.. and the guy who works here said with a smile when i came in: Ur office is waiting for you, Sir :))

Well, I cant afford this luxury for long, my graduation date is set for sep 1st and I have to find a job soon :)...

Current Music: Naguva Nayana Madhura Mouna...

An umpteenth interest

I am an avid thinker..atleast so I proclaim :) .. Ever since I was in my high school, I used to write on things, I strongly felt about.. But most of them were in notebooks that were lost, or in drafts folder of my e-mail boxes which I had to delete as there was no gmail then :) .. I took up blogging a few months ago when I first saw sharat doing it, but then somehow gave up in the middle like any one of my umpteen interests- a true gemini that I am... Here is one more attempt, but I am vowing this time again that this is a more focused and sincere attempt ;)

"If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading or do things worth the writing" --Benjamin Franklin

If I were to choose any two professions that I would love to spend all my life without any regret, it would be being a writer or a film-maker, Both of them offer so much of freedom for expression and a powerful platform for creativity and in reaching out to people.

Today, I have been feeling very lonely :( , not that I feel otherwise a lot of other times :)) ... If I think about it I only have a handful of people I know around me to talk to or share things with.. It has been nearly two years since I came to the US for my studies.. Though I have gained a lot academically, I would have loved to have more friends by now.. Not that I am a total introvert, but there are a lot of other factors for that.. and ofcourse people are busier here than anywhere else :) .. Come to think of it, I miss my home town, bangalore a lot.. I definitely miss my family, friends and everyone there but I do miss the place as well :( .. I remember when I was there this time for my vacation, I used to go to streets and places on my bike without any real reason, just to get a glimpse of it and a feel for the place where I spent most of my life...ofcourse 23 yrs is not a short period of time....

More later .....

Current Music: Chod Aaye Hum Woh Galiyan - Maachis